Keeping The Gloves On

Poisons and Passions

Mrs. Blue

Mr. Red


What’s your poison?

I know this topic is going to be a challenge for Mr. Red since he has no known poison. Out of curiosity I would like to know if he would write a mirror post on this. We have agreed when we started this blog that we would blog side by side on some topics but on some other interests we can blog it individually – like I don’t know he might want to blog briefs or boxers and I can blog about menstrual cramps. But at the main blogs we agreed to give a point of view on each side.

Like I said, he has no vices at all. He doesn’t drink, smoke, doesn’t do drugs and does not even like beer. We are totally on opposite poles on this.  I on the other hand had done or tasted all of the above and liked doing it at that time.  I never hid it from him but when we got together, I promised that I wouldn’t do any of those vices from then on. A little beer he allows or some wine and it’s understandable. I was curious at first at how square one could get; but, like he simply put it – it’s not that he was pressured into not doing it. For him it just wasn’t fun.

Which brings me back to my question – what is your poison?


My passions are my poisons.

Mrs. Blue is right.  I never was predisposed to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.  For the life of me I honestly don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because I disliked seeing people act when they’re drunk, coughing while smoking, or not being in control of their speech or actions when they’re high.

Instead of indulging myself with the mentioned vices, I enjoy myself with my passions.  Which is probably a good advice to those who are suffering from alcoholism, smoking and drug addiction.  I enjoy playing chess, playing with my guitar, and spending hours on video games.

Ahhh, but looking at what I have just typed, it seems that overindulging in my passions could lead to a form of addiction itself.  I think that’s why the Apostle Paul said that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.  Overindulging in one’s passions can lead to an unbalanced life, much like indulging in the aforementioned vices.

Which brings me to my last passion – girls.  But with Mrs. Blue around, (and I’m not sure if this is grammatically correct), she is all the women I need.

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January 6, 2011 Posted by | Married Life, Mr. Red, Mrs. Blue | , , | Leave a comment

Modern Families

Mrs. Blue

Mr. Red


 

Changing roles in fast times

Most have grown up or have been led to think that a family consists of a dad, mom and kids. At the start of the day mom cooks breakfast, everybody sits down, then kids and the dad troop out to go to school and office.  Mom gives everyone a kiss, rosy cheeks and all.  I’ve got nothing against this norm; in fact, it’s what everybody’s been patterning their family into.  In our case, it isn’t ‘normal’ at all given that scenario.  I go to work, as in wake up and do the whole 9-hour shift and at very odd hours; so you can throw the cheeky breakfast out too.  My dear Mr. Red takes care of the kid, does the household chores, runs the errands but plays the PS3 instead of watching soap operas.  Mr. R gets projects via work at home jobs until he gets a steady employer.  It’s been the set up ever since our little girl came; not that we planned it.  Just like everything else we were thrown into it.

I know of some other families with different arrangements – kids staying with second of kin, single parents, mixed marriages, interracial, long distance family relationships, extended families, etc.  Yet we cope as a basic unit.  It’s still family and in the end it’s our home.  Doesn’t matter if it’s a dozen or just a tandem – you will find your heart with family.  It is true when they say that you get to choose your friends but not your family; I believe there is a good reason for that.  In the sum of things, who you are – whether you would admit to it or not, the most influential people is your kin.  It is your first intimate encounter with relationships.  With that, I am hoping to find you in a “normal” relationship with your own family.

 


 

Families – at home, at work and online

As Mrs. Blue has intimated, the structure of the modern family is far more complicated today than the traditional model.

Families who own and operate their own businesses are not rare.  Since the dawn of time, fathers have been known to pass down to their sons and daughters their skills and trade.  But since the advent of the industrial age all the way to our modern informational, digital age, there have been great changes.  Sure, there are still those who want to pass on their skills and trades to their children; like doctors encouraging their daughters to become doctors themselves; lawyer parents trying to inspire a son to become a well-known and well-respected lawyer, etc.  There are also those who own good businesses that have survived through the generations and will undoubtedly continue to do so.

But what I find very interesting is a family working as employees for one company.  I’ve heard that there is a family, composed of a father, mother, sons and daughters who work for this one particular corporation.  Wow!  Imagine seeing them happily eating their lunch at the cafeteria!  It’s just a wonderful to know that family unity and love can be seen at the workplace.

The internet and social media sites also have changed the way family members interact with each other.  It’s just magnificent to see a mother commenting on a daughter’s picture from Brazil, a son’s video from Japan, all posted on Facebook.  They’re not together, and yet not really apart.

Families.  There indeed have been changes through the years, yet the love within stays the same.

 

January 4, 2011 Posted by | Married Life, Mr. Red, Mrs. Blue | , | Leave a comment

My Boyfriend is My Husband/My Girlfriend is My Wife

Mrs. Blue

Mr. Red


 

The Boyfriend Experience (BFE)

No matter the length of a relationship – romance is a big factor in a couple’s life. As the years go by we get familiar with our spouses and sadly take them for granted. To guard against stagnation and the dragging routine of everyday life, a couple needs to experience those same feelings and motions like at the start of the relationship.  Courtship and romance go hand in hand and it can be done even when couples have been together for a year, 10 years or even a hundred; with small children, teens or even with grandchildren; in good financial standing or even eating the crumbs from the cookie jar. Your romantic liaison with one another should never be shaken. Your partner should always be as a fresh rose every morning of every day. That tempting red juicy apple that had stirred you of your inhibitions and made you do things you had only imagined should always be within reach.

I have heard somewhere that: “Men fall in love with their eyes and women with their ears.” My husband, no matter how he tries to flatter me. “Honey, you look really sexy today!” or “I just want to tear your clothes!” He still stirs something in me and still makes me flush at his words. He still croons melodies and sweet nothings in my ear. He used to buy me food, now he cooks – and this is a sure winner for me 🙂

He never fails to kiss and hug me every time I come home or go off to work. We lick chocolate and stuff off each other’s fingers.

The sexual tension. Sometimes I even catch him looking lovingly at me when I sleep, with drool and snoring and all. When we can, we date and when we can’t, we make it up with great sex. This is the boyfriend experience any wife needs – attentive, sweet, always ready to comfort you, eager to kiss you all over, eyes that hunger for you. Surely, no wife cannot resist but to fall in love with her boyfriend/husband over and over again, everyday.

 


 

The Girlfriend Experience (GFE)

GFE stands for Girl Friend Experience.  Often, when a man hires a prostitute, the girl merely goes through the sex act without any emotion, most of the time simply laying down and let’s the man does his thing.  To her, she is simply providing a service.  She doesn’t have to like it.  A prostitute who offers GFE however, interacts with you.  She laughs at your jokes, asks about your day, flirts with you, touches you sympathetically as you share your problems, in short – she pretends to be your girlfriend for the time you hired her.  A film directed by Steven Soderbergh starring adult film star Sasha Gray was released in 2009 with the said title, “The Girlfriend Experience.”

What does this mean for men?

It means that many men really want companionship together with sex.  They don’t want a robot or some anatomically correct, adjustable, customizable doll made from Japan (though there are men who prefer those).  The bottom line is that sex just for the sake of sexual gratification is not enough.  Men need meaningful relationships with women.  Men with their seemingly stern façade really have tender hearts within.

Men don’t need to look far.

Men don’t need to hire an escort/prostitute to have a GFE.  They just need to go out there and look for the girl who’s right for them, if they’re single that is.

Married men, on the other hand, already have their wives.  Make them your confidant, your best friend.  If you’ve lost that spark in your marriage, just treat her like your girlfriend from way back in college.  Tickle her, kiss her, confide in her and watch the flames of romance ignite once more.

Also, don’t be afraid to tell your sexual preferences and fetishes to your wife.  You might be surprised at what she may be willing to do for you.  Give her enough time and money to go shopping so  you both can enjoy a good romantic meal, share stories while appreciating her new hairdo, and watch and enjoy her as she teases you flaunting her newly-bought classy dress and her fishnet lingerie.

Don’t just let your wife be your wife, let her be your girlfriend too!

(By the way, BFE means Boyfriend Experience)

 

January 3, 2011 Posted by | Married Life, Mr. Red, Mrs. Blue | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why do you Give? When should you Give?

Mrs. Blue

Mr. Red


 

The Essence of True Giving

The holidays are here and it is a time of merriment, fun ,food, family, shopping and also of giving.

There are a lot of ways when someone gives – others through charitable institutions, some through foundations or their local church or religious affiliations, and some others I have seen just hand out, on the spot, to a needy person they have met on the street. All of these fall under CHARITY. I have nothing against charity; in fact, I am all out for charity.

But I am here to write about the motives behind giving. I have a friend who is a very charitable person, yet whenever he gives I am surprised to find out that he is giving because he did something wrong and wants to make up for it. Some sort of a penance. He believes that whatever it is he has done, he can ‘buy’ it off by giving something to someone in need in return. The act of giving is in a way marred by the hidden motives that we have.

Why do you give?

Is there something that you need in return or expect whenever you give? What are your beliefs regarding giving? How do you act out your charity? Answering these questions would reveal why you give.

In my opinion, giving should be a free act of anything else than just giving. As to why you give is an even deeper understanding of why one is even compelled to give. Have you even wondered why you give or share? I am sure at one point or another you have given someone something.  Not just monetary or material things, it can be a favor or even an affection.  If that is the case, then we therefore give not just out of obligation or empathy or because we see that another person needs it.  There is a deeper underlying strong motive in giving and a higher purpose.  It has be to pure, unselfish and unconditional; or else, it may be worthless.

The next time you give ask yourself why you are doing it: to feel better, to make you happy, to get a spot in heaven, anything in return?  Do you really believe giving will cancel out the bad things you’ve done?  Make you into a better person?  And I hope it isn’t just for show like so  many others use it just like how “Mr. So and so” gave $100,000 or raised an amount for cancer.

Giving is a wonderful opportunity.  I believe the best way to give is give God the control, the option on how to use your blessing. You bless God and you give God the power to use it and direct it to where it’s supposed to go.  Since He knows everything, then who else can we trust our blessings with than the one who knows best where to send it and give it to who truly needs it.

 


 

A Missed Opportunity

Years ago, I was waiting at a bus stop on my way home.  I was very picky when it came to buses back then because I knew which ones were the fastest ones.  Bus after bus came my way but I hung around waiting for my favorite one, all the while being paranoid of strangers who were walking about.  I’ve been mugged before so I was extra cautious.

That’s when I saw her.

She was probably in her middle teens wearing a white t-shirt, jeans, black rubber shoes, and sporting a very short pony tail.   It was late and seeing her there wandering about in that hour was unusual.  I watched her as she watched the people running after the buses.  She wasn’t with anyone and she wasn’t carrying anything on her.  She seemed lost and unsure of what to do.   She was about to approach me, but my bus arrived and I had to get on.  So, I went.

A few nights later, I saw her there again, wearing the same shirt – same everything.  Only now, her clothes were dirtier.  And she was mustering up her courage to talk to strangers to ask for money for food.  I was in financial straits and living on a very tight budget.  I wanted to go to her, reach out to her and listen to her and help her.  But I felt so helpless as I was really hard up on cash.  So the next day, I went to a female church friend and told her my story.  She was willing to help out and wanted me to bring the girl to her place.  She was willing to take her in.

So, back I went the next evening.  She wasn’t there.  I waited and waited, for 2 hours.  She never came back.  Years have already passed and I still wonder what would have happened if I just had the courage to speak to her and find out her story.  Perhaps, I would have been able to help and maybe saved a life if only I was willing to sacrifice some change and cut down on a few sandwiches.

I only hope somebody who was in a better position to help her came along and gave her the help she might have needed.  I’m troubled by the fact though, that I will never know.

This has taught me to never close my eyes, my heart, to the needs of others.  I hope you never let an opportunity like the one I had pass you by.


 

January 1, 2011 Posted by | Mr. Red, Mrs. Blue, Values | , , , , | Leave a comment

Online Emotional Affairs

Mrs. Blue

Mr. Red


 

My EA Experience

Recently, I and Mr. R’s relationship was dangerously threatened – I had an online romance.

I never really took it seriously. For me, it was a fluke – it was between my imaginary, projected self and another guy on the net. Never planned to meet with him and never imagined that being together physically with him would be a reality.

It all happened so unexpectedly, too. At first it was just casual chat that led to more details in our lives, which in turn led for us to be involved deeper into each other’s affairs; and before I knew it, we were blowing kisses to each other. He tells me about his day and I release all of my stress onto him. It was a habitual and symbiotic love affair.

When Mr. R found out about it, he blew off.

At first it was flattering that he was red jealous with a guy in my head, who was just imaginary. But as he explained things to me further – his feelings were really crushed and the threat he felt from the other guy was as real as that from any other person. In short, he did not want to share me – my feelings and time, and yes, part of my life, with this person online. As I saw his devastation, I really felt bad that I made him go through all of that. He felt incompetent and insecure and suspicious. I understood I had to end it right then. I never hid anything from him and made sure that whenever I go online, especially when that person was online, he was always at my side. And I slowly cut ties. No person deserves such treatment, more so, your own spouse. An affair is an affair no matter the circumstance.

If it involves time, thoughts, feelings and details of your life – It is an affair.

Intimate details should only be shared strictly with your spouse and no one else. Even your frustrations, aspirations or even your schedule should only be made known with your partner. As his partner, I learned a lot from this mistake and the consequences that impacted my husband – the one I should be venting my problems at, spending my time, and blowing kisses with. To be able to have a healthy loving relationship, the first rule is only you and him; no one else. All other things will fall naturally into place.


 

What is an Emotional Affair?

An Emotional Affair (EA, for short) is just like your ordinary, harmful and treacherous affair minus the actual, physical sex act.

This can happen in the office, at school, at church, and in Mrs. Blue’s case, online.

It starts out with seemingly harmless friendship.  There is the thrill of discovery as you find out more and more about the habits, the likes and the dislikes, the strengths and weaknesses of the other person.  But unlike any other friendship, as more and more intimate details of each other’s life is shared, lines are crossed.

A few comforting words to the one who has just had a bad day, a smiley emoticon, and the assurance of morale support and before you know it, you find yourself blowing kisses and typing “hugs you tightly, and kisses you tenderly” in the chat window. You find yourself wanting to spend more and more time with your online friend than with your real life partner.

When I first found out about Mrs. Blue’s EA, I was shocked and in denial.  But the more I read their conversations, the more hurt I felt.  Why, every night, we would sit together – I would be watching TV and she would be playing with her friends on a flash-based, online community rpg.  I didn’t even suspect that she was already having a romantic liaison right before my eyes.

But there it was.  I was hurt, angry, jealous, suspicious and felt so helpless.  I gathered as much evidence as I can and confronted her with it.  Angry words were exchanged.  She’s a strong-willed woman.  The more I wanted it to stop, the more I felt helpless.  Was I justified in my jealousy?  Was it all just harmless, really?  Was I over-reacting?

No.

The Bible says that God is a jealous God.  Well, of course he is.  Is God justified in being jealous because people are worshiping a piece of wood, an idol that really is nothing in comparison to God?  Yes, he is.  Is He justified in being jealous when people worship a false god they just created and can see in their imagination?  Yes, He is justified.

Then, so am I.

Anything that comes between you and your spouse, whether online or offline, as long as it robs you of your time together, as long as it is done in secret, as long as you don’t want your partner involved in the “friendship,” that means you are having an emotional affair.  You must stop it before it’s too late.

I love Mrs. Blue.  I love her a lot.  And it is a good thing – no, it is a great thing, that our love for each other has proved itself to be true and strong.

December 31, 2010 Posted by | Married Life, Mr. Red, Mrs. Blue | , , , , | 3 Comments